Ideas & Advice

Many times, dads are just as excited as mom for baby to arrive. Dads have the co-pilot seat on the emotional and exciting rollercoaster of preparing for baby, and naturally envision what it's going to be like when baby arrives. But often times when baby finally arrives, new dads get discouraged that the new baby doesn't want to be close to them or even rejects him. It's perfectly normally and lets put it this way dads, new moms often get a free pass with baby for many reasons:

1. Baby already has a bond developed growing 9 months inside the womb
2. Mom may provide nursing which is one of the physiological needs in which baby depends on her
3. Mom may be spending more time with baby, already give her a head start when it comes to trust and bonding

It may seem unfair, but it’s important not to feel rejected or that ‘baby doesn’t want you.’  Seriously, don’t take it personally Dads.  Getting baby to warm up to you doesn’t always happen over night.  Many moms have trouble bonding with baby as well.  That’s why it’s strongly recommended to focus on bonding time for both Mom and Dad.

Here are some Bonding Tips for Dads to help baby warm up to you:

1. Spending Time with Baby Away from Mom:  If mom is around, baby will naturally want mommy and won’t focus on daddy-baby bonding time.  Go to a different room or even some place else.  
2. Feed Baby:  Even if baby is nursing, have mom pump breastmilk into the bottle and get baby used to feeding from Dad as early as possible.  Then baby will learn to trust that Daddy can also help comfort baby’s hunger as well, therefore developing trust.
3. Daddy Scent:  Before baby can see clearly, baby will often recognize mom’s scent, especially during nursing.  Dad use a scent toy or blanket and rub his scent on there.  So even when dad is not there, baby can get use to his scent to.  Some dads will even try putting on some ‘mommy milk’ fragrance.  Sounds odd, but it can work!

Bonding Ideas and Resources for Dad:  
Here are some resources and ideas for dads to encourage, sweet bonding time with baby.

1. https://www.babycenter.com/0_top-tips-for-dads-on-bonding-with-your-baby_3692.bc
2. https://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/features/new-dads-bonding-with-newborn-baby
3. https://www.parents.com/baby/new-parent/fatherhood/bond-with-dad/

So Dads, you really don't need advice from Dr. Phil to know how to best and effectively bond with your new baby. Just spend time with baby away from Mommy and eventually, you will experience the joys of nurturing and caring for baby, along with dirty diapers and cry spells. Don't complain, you asked for it!